The murder of Olympic wrestler David Schultz by multi-millionaire John du Pont was well known to me. It happen just 220 miles away. I remember clearly that the guilty verdict was announced on my birthday, February 25, in 1997. The unfortunate truth about the tragedy, now a movie named Foxcatcher after the du Pont estate in Newtown Square, PA— is that human beings are incompetent risk managers. We find any reason to ignore obvious red flags. We readily accept present flaws and self-proclaimed titles and accolades. We put up with fakeness and worry too much about what others think of us. We fail to account for consequences. When calamity, chaos and bad karma strike, we vow to be smarter next time, but seldom are.
I didn’t love the book, nor the movie but if you dig deep, a few really strong themes can help us all in the workplace.
Never ignore the red flags!
On paper, du Pont was a great guy. But in the '90s, a few of his close friends reported du Pont was exhibiting erratic behavior. After the murder of David Schultz, his lawyers claimed that he had begun to mentally deteriorate after his mother's death in 1988. Those close to du Pont reported that he believed there was a conspiracy to kill him. He referred to himself as "The Holy Child", thought he was the Dalai Lama, paid people to lose to him in competitions, and purchased ridiculous “toys” like a tank with a mounted machine gun. The biggest glaring red flag -- du Pont doesn't quite grasp that some people simply cannot be bought.
Yes, du Pont was odd and quirky. But, odd is not a red flag. Odd behavior is.
Listen to your gut. If you see, hear, feel or sense what I like to call the red flags of quirkiness…react. Get out! Move on! Stay clear!
The only person you need to impress is yourself!
In my opinion, the most disturbing scene in the movie takes place when du Pont attempts to show off and impress his mother, a woman he craved approval from his entire life. He holds a coaching session with Olympic-ready wrestlers. But, he is no coach. He is weak, unskilled and not respected. He is a farce and as he demos simple elementary moves to world-class athletes in front of his mother, the entire squad is embarrassed for him and shocked silent. The mother quickly exits and du Pont stops his ridiculous lesson.
The road to impress others with show-boating is a dead end. There is no need to impress people with expensive, shiny things. Go back to the basics -- be clean, presentable, well behaved. The relationships you build are based on you not on the material items or pretend personalities. People will either like you for you or they won’t – no amount of shiny, material things will change their perception.
Just because you call yourself coach, doesn’t mean you are!
John du Pont wants to be recognized as a coach. He had limited skill and no attributes of a true coach and mentor. He bought his way to the title. As the daughter of an extraordinary coach and mentor, I cringe even at the thought. Respect is earned my friends, not demanded and certainly not purchased. Just because you want to be called queen, and maybe you can even buy your way to the throne…does not mean you possess the finesse to wear the crown. If you want to be a coach and mentor…earn it. Lead by example. Have integrity. Give advice based on experience. Listen. Help others succeed. Have a learning attitude. Know your own strengths and abilities. Be independent. Be a continuous learner. Provide guidance and constructive feedback. Value the opinions and initiative of others. Motivate others by setting a good example. Educate. Care. Focus. Produce.
Earn it!
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